


Something You Should Know

by summerborn



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Dubious Consent, First Time, Ghost Sex, M/M, Memory Alteration, Memory Magic, Ritual Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-12-27
Updated: 2006-12-27
Packaged: 2017-10-27 22:23:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/300686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/summerborn/pseuds/summerborn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post-war: Tonks has found a way to bring Sirius back, but the requirements are... strict. When do the ends justify the means? Remus must deal with his own feelings as he does what he has to do to give Harry back his godfather. (Canon compliant through OoTP.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Something You Should Know

**Author's Note:**

> Written for lj: richan_mmi for the 2006 Secret Sirry Santa at lj: sirry_slash. I owe so much to my betas A, B, and C (what an understatement), with special guest beta by D.
> 
> <http://summerborn.dreamwidth.org/profile>

Remus Lupin was just about to give up on the third years' essays for the night when there was a loud knock on his office door. "Come in," he started to say, but the door was already being pushed open. He smiled when he saw a woman with a shock of violet hair and a huge grin stride into his office like she owned the place.

"Hello, Tonks," he greeted her, and stood to come around the desk and give her a quick peck on the cheek. She didn't press for more like she might have done when they were still dating, and Remus was grateful when her saw her smile that they'd been able to end things on good terms.

"Wotcher," she said, her grin never wavering. "I've got good news and bad news."

Remus picked his wand up off his desk and waved it at the essays he'd been marking, sending them off to a drawer. "From the look on your face, I'd say it's a lot more good than bad. I haven't seen you look that cheerful since you came back from Venice with that blond fellow."

Tonks laughed. "You're right. I was going to say that the bad news was I don't think we'll be going to the Quidditch match tomorrow."

Remus raised his eyebrows. They always went to the Hogwarts matches, and not just because Remus was Head of Gryffindor. They went because Harry went, and Remus had to admit that he went to spend time with Harry as much as to watch the match. Quidditch was just about the only thing that got him out of the house these days. Tomorrow was Hufflepuff against Ravenclaw, and Remus would hate to cancel. "Oh? And why is that?"

"Because," Tonks answered, her tone going smug, "we'll be busy bringing Sirius Black back from beyond the veil."

There was a moment of stunned silence.

"What?" he managed at last.

Tonks pulled out a sheaf of parchments from her robe. "You know how one of the 'perks' of being an Unspeakable is going through a lot of old records? Well, today I found something that makes it all worth it: a folder of old research notes on the Curtain. There is definitely a way, Remus, but the alignment of the stars makes dawn tomorrow the only time we'll be able to try it for the next century. And..."

Remus had already started to scan the notes while Tonks spoke, but he looked up at the strange note in her voice. "What is it? Is there some kind of catch?"

"Well... kind of, yeah." She perched on the corner of Remus' desk. "The incantation will work, but only if we have some pretty, erm, intimate participation from a third party."

Remus flipped to the final page and saw right away what sort of "participation" she was talking about. It would be like... having sex with a ghost. There was a triangle inscribed on the last page, with strange symbols at each corner.

Tonks was looking over his shoulder. "It's derived from an ancient Egyptian ritual to bring back the dead," she said. "Last used to bring back Adelaide Ferris in 1735. We're going to need three people to make it work. Someone related by blood--that'll be me; someone who was a good friend; and for the most intimate participation we'll need someone who loved Sirius."

"Well, that part will be easy enough. I loved Sirius. You and I both did."

Tonks shook her head. "I said that wrong. I don't mean 'loved' him like a brother, Remus--I mean it in the more, um, physical sense."

"Oh." Remus was quiet for a moment. "You mean...?"

"Yep. We need someone he had sex with." She blushed a little, but went on, "Remus... normally I wouldn't pry, but we've got to have someone that Sirius... well, was intimate with. The closer to the day of his disappearance, the better. Did you and he...?"

"No." Remus smiled softly. "By the time he realized he didn't like girls the way James did, he and I were already too much like brothers for anything like that."

Tonks blew out a breath, and nodded. "You'll be the friend, then. Do you know of someone else for the other? If Sirius died a virgin, this isn't going to work."

"Definitely not a virgin," Remus chuckled. "But the only ones I know of for sure were a long time ago. It would be hard to find any of them."

"And those won't be as likely to work anyway. Recent is better. I know he didn't get out much, that last year at Grimmauld Place, but--"

"But he did have a few visitors from time to time," Remus finished. "You and me, of course, and all the Order members, but also all nine of the Weasleys, Fleur, Hermione, and Harry."

Tonks nodded again. "And you think maybe Sirius and one of them...?"

"I hope so," Remus said. "For his sake. I think we can rule out all the women--well, maybe we better make sure, with Fleur. That Veela blood, mmm."

Tonks pretended to be offended and punched him.

-:-

"All right, thanks a lot, Bill." Remus shut off the Floo connection and got wearily to his feet. Two hours poring over the notes with Tonks, followed by an hour crouching down at the hearth asking awkward and embarrassing questions of people he cared about, had left him tired and achy. But he'd managed to rule out all of the Weasleys, even Molly and Ginny to be safe, and all of the male Order members except for Snape.

He picked up the parchment with the list that he and Tonks had made, and crossed off Bill and Fleur. That left just two names: Snape and Harry.

Remus stared at the parchment for a moment, unable to quite believe that either of them had had a sexual relationship with Sirius Black during the time the man had spent at Grimmauld Place. But he had to check, because Tonks' incantation would only work if they had the right person.

Tonks poked her head in the door. "I'm back--good news on the chameleon blood, they had just enough in stock." She came into the office and set a case down on Remus' desk. "Any luck with the list?"

"No," Remus said. "And we're down to two. If these don't pan out, I'm going to have to go door-to-door asking Muggles if they remember shagging a particular bloke twenty-five years ago."

It just wouldn't be fair to have found a way to bring Sirius back, after all this time, and not be able to complete the spell for lack of an ex-lover. Remus had to do everything in his power to find someone.

"So, which of those two do you think is more likely?"

Remus looked at the parchment again and shook his head. "Harry was only fifteen when Sirius died. If he had..." Well, Remus had never considered the possibility of a sexual relationship between them at the time, but he certainly wouldn't have condoned it then. Surely Sirius wouldn't have done that with his own godson? But if not him, then that only left... Snape?

"I never thought I'd hear myself say it, but I sure hope Sirius slept with Snape before he died."

-:-

Remus was tired and starting to get desperate. When the door to Snape's dungeon quarters creaked open, Remus blurted, "Did you ever shag Sirius Black?"

Snape raised an eyebrow, and Remus felt himself blushing. "I mean... can I come in? I need to talk to you."

"About shagging Sirius Black? I should turn you away," Snape said dryly, but he held the door open for Remus to come in.

Thankful that they'd managed to become something like friends in the last few years, Remus took his usual chair in Snape's sitting room and waited for the other man to sit as well. He started from the beginning, explaining about the spell Tonks had found and the unusual requirement.

"We can bring Sirius back, but we need someone who..." He waved a hand in the air. No need to repeat that.

Snape's expression turned thoughtful. "And so you came to me. But what makes you think I would agree to help bring him back?"

Remus felt his mouth drop open. "You mean you... you and he...?"

Snape gave a smirk. "No, we didn't. But it was worth implying it to see that look on your face."

Remus snapped his jaw shut. Damn the man.

"In any case," Snape went on, "from this description of the spell, you want the last person Black had sex with. So why not ask him?"

Remus gripped the arm of his chair in frustration. "I'm trying to, I just can't figure out who..." Something like surprise flickered across Snape's face--just for an instant, but Remus caught it. "You know who it is?" He leaned forward, about to demand Snape tell him, but then he remembered his list. "Is it Harry?"

Snape's expression didn't change, but that was as good as confirmation for Remus. He sat back, feeling--stunned, yes, but something else he couldn't put a name to. Sirius and Harry? He couldn't imagine Sirius taking advantage of a teenage boy like that.

"Wait a minute, how do you know? I can't imagine Harry confiding in you--no offense, Severus."

Snape frowned. "It was only an image, actually. Lupin... I thought you knew already, or I wouldn't have said anything. " He sniffed disdainfully. "Unlike some people, I understand about the confidentiality of memories seen during Occlumency lessons."

"It's true I didn't know for sure, but Harry was the next person on my list anyway. The last person, actually."

"You mean I rank above Potter on Black's shaggability scale?" Snape snorted. "I'm flattered."

Remus got to his feet, already thinking about what to say to Harry. "I won't tell him that you confirmed it."

-:-

It was almost midnight by the time Remus was climbing the front steps of number twelve Grimmauld Place. Harry had moved in after leaving Hogwarts, stayed throughout the war and endless Order meetings, and had never left. Remus sometimes worried about him, alone in the depressing, empty house, but Harry always changed the subject when someone suggested leaving it behind. Remus, Tonks, and Hermione all visited frequently, but Harry rarely left the house.

He rang the bell, hoping it would be enough to wake Harry, and shivered a little in the cool night air. After a minute or so, he rang the bell again, then began to knock. It seemed loud to him, but he knew the spells on the house wouldn't pass the sound to any of the surrounding Muggle neighbors. "Harry?" he called when there was still no answer. He heard a noise, then, and stood back to wait, listening intently. There were footsteps, followed by a bang and a muffled curse. Remus winced in sympathy.

Finally the door opened, revealing Harry Potter in nothing but a pair of faded pajama bottoms. His hair was mussed, he wasn't wearing his glasses, and he was rubbing one elbow. Remus felt an odd pang at the sight of him, so obviously straight out of bed, but he pushed it away.

"Remus?" Harry squinted at him, and Remus realized he'd been staring at Harry's bare chest and muscled shoulders.

"Sorry--yes, it's me. Can I come in?"

"Sure." Harry waved him in. "Do you want some tea or something?"

"Yes, thank you," Remus said, and followed Harry down to the kitchen, ducking when Harry summoned his glasses from upstairs.

A few minutes later, Harry was handing him a steaming mug and taking the chair opposite him at the long table. Remus thanked him again, wondering where to start, but Harry spoke before he thought of anything.

"So what's up? Not that I mind sitting at my kitchen table drinking tea in the middle of the night with you, but I get the sense that's not why you're here."

"You're right," Remus agreed. "Harry... We've known each other a long time, wouldn't you say?"

Harry nodded, his gaze fixed on Remus' face.

"I don't really know how to say this, so I'm just going to say it. We--I mean Tonks--Tonks found a way to bring Sirius back."

Remus didn't know what reaction he'd been expecting, but a long silence and a decidedly cool look wasn't it.

Finally Harry took a sip of his tea. "Sirius who?"

"Harry..."

"Because I know you don't mean Sirius Black, because Sirius Black is dead." His tone was a bit sharp, but Remus knew it was grief, not anger, coming through.

"There's a difference between dead and beyond the veil, Harry."

Tea splashed out of Harry's mug as he set it down on the table a bit too forcefully. "I know, Remus. I did the research--or rather, Hermione did the research and I watched every step of the way. It was the first thing I tried to do after Voldemort was gone, remember? There's no way."

"I know there didn't seem to be--"

"Seem to be? There's no way, Remus."

Remus was silent, holding Harry's gaze until he saw the anger drain away. "Are you finished interrupting me?" Remus said, and Harry looked down and nodded.

"Good," Remus went on, "because I wouldn't be saying this if I wasn't sure of myself, Harry. There were some notes on the Veil that the Unspeakables had kept locked away--Tonks only discovered them today. There's a spell, an incantation, and it will work if we have all the necessary components."

Harry didn't look up. Remus didn't think Harry would be able to decipher the Egyptian runes, but he pulled the notes from his pocket and laid them on the table.

"I've looked at them. I'm convinced. Tonks knows what she's about, Harry. It can work."

Slowly, Harry took the parchment from Remus' outstretched hand. He looked briefly at the first few pages, flipped through a few more, and then looked up to meet Remus' eyes at last. "This has the official seal of the Unspeakables Department."

"Yes. It's real, Harry."

Harry dropped the pages back on the table and stood up, turning away. Remus wished he could do something, offer some kind of support, but he never knew what to do around Harry.

After a moment, Harry turned back. "When?"

"It has to be tomorrow. But--there's one other thing."

"What is it?"

"The incantation requires involvement from someone here--" Remus turned to the final page and pointed at the diagram. "One of Sirius' former sexual partners." He hesitated. That probably wasn't clear enough, but he was having trouble just saying right out that he knew what Sirius and Harry had done.

"I take it it's not you, then?" he asked, when Remus didn't continue.

"No." Again Remus wasn't sure how to say it.

"Who, then?" A thought seemed to strike Harry. "Oh, God, please don't say Snape, oh, shite--"

"No! Not Snape."

Harry fell back in his chair. "Well, no one else could be as bad as that, so you might as well just tell me."

Remus toyed with his mug. "Actually, I thought... I mean, I was talking about you."

There was a pause and then, "What?!"

"Harry, it's okay. You don't need to pretend. I'm not judging you--either of you. Actually, in this case I'm glad of it, because things would be a lot harder if you and Sirius hadn't--"

"We didn't!" Harry jumped out of his seat again, spots of color forming on his cheeks.

"You... didn't?"

"No!"

"But--" Remus bit back what he was going to say about Snape. "But then who are we going to use in the incantation? Harry, are you sure--this is not the time to try to protect anyone. It's important--"

"I know it's important, Remus." Harry sat back down and took a deep breath, as if steeling himself for something. "It's not that I didn't want to," he admitted softly. "I even approached him. Still can't believe I had the nerve to do that. But Sirius said I was too young... that I would have to be content with my imagination until I was of age." He smiled, obviously remembering, then looked up at Remus.

"So yes, I'm sure. Who does that leave? I don't know who all of Sirius' lovers were."

Remus sighed. "I've ruled out most everyone from after he escaped Azkaban. I don't know if we'll be able to track anyone down from before that."

"But... we have to. We need to find someone..."

"It's worse than that, Harry. We need to find someone by dawn." Remus indicated the pages of notes, and Harry paled.

"Why--why do we need someone he had sex with, anyway? Maybe we can fake it, somehow."

Remus didn't answer for a moment. Harry pushed the pages toward him. "Dammit, Remus, why? Is it some physical remnant thing? Maybe there's something up in the attic."

"It's not physical," Remus said, rubbing a hand over his eyes.

"What, then?" Harry prompted.

"It has to do with the connection between two people. A past lover would have a... a soul-deep, fervent yearning for him to return."

"I do yearn, Remus! Fervently!"

Remus shook his head. "It's not the same. Harry... the act of sex is a very powerful thing. Like love, like family, the magic built around it is strong, but very specific."

"Why did it have to be sex? Why couldn't they have used love?"

"I don't know. Perhaps they wanted to make it more difficult to undo."

Harry slumped back into his chair. "Remus... what if..." He licked his lips. "What if I thought I'd slept with him?"

Remus just looked at him for a long moment. "It wouldn't be enough just to tell yourself--"

"There's got to be a magical way to make me believe it. Change my memories--some kind of reverse Obliviate."

Remus was no expert on memory charms, but considering they were completely out of other options... "Let's Floo Tonks."

-:-

In between her years as an Auror and her current work with the Department of Unspeakables, Tonks had done a stint with the Ministry's Official Obliviator Squad. She'd been very good, Remus knew, but he didn't know if the sort of thing Harry was talking about was even possible.

Tonks joined them in Harry's small kitchen, and was now reviewing the pages of notes, trying to decide if a substituted memory would work as well as the real thing. Meanwhile, Harry had put on a thin shirt and a second pot of tea. Remus' attention was divided between watching him putter around the kitchen anxiously and watching Tonks work her way through the notes.

Finally she looked up. "I think it will work."

Harry let out a whoop, and Remus felt a grin spread across his face.

"So, come sit down, Harry, and we'll do it."

"Now?" Remus and Harry said simultaneously.

Tonks turned in her chair to look at them both. "No time like the present. We've got six hours before dawn, and we need time to make sure this takes. Not to mention setting up the rest of the incantation."

Harry came over to the table and sat gingerly. Remus felt a bit sorry for him--it was never fun to have your memories mucked with. "What do I need to do?" Harry whispered.

"Close your eyes," Tonks answered. She glanced at Remus, who dimmed the lights. "Now," she went on, "remember a specific time you were with Sirius. A day, or a night--just so long as you were alone with him. Concentrate on your desires, what you wanted at the time. The way you felt when you looked at him. Emotions, Harry. Capture those emotions and hold on to them."

Remus could see Harry shiver. It was still difficult to believe the young man in front of him had felt such desire for an older man at the age of fifteen. Then again, Remus could remember the confusion of his own adolescence. And for a boy who had grown up with so few people to love him as Harry, perhaps it wasn't so strange after all.

Tonks had her wand out now, aiming it at Harry's forehead. "Reconsciato!" There was a shimmer of light. Remus held his breath. He didn't know what to expect, but all that happened was Harry drawing in a deep breath, blinking, and opening his eyes.

Remus exchanged a look with Tonks. How were they going to gauge the effects?

"Did it work?" Harry asked, and Remus' hopes fell. If Harry remembered what they had been trying to do, then it obviously hadn't worked! Or--wait.

"Did what work, Harry?" he asked, keeping his face calm.

"Weren't we trying to..." Harry's nose scrunched up in confusion. "I can't remember exactly, but you were trying to cast something..." Tonks nodded, and Harry went on in a questioning tone. "Something to help me remember... sleeping with Sirius." His eyes widened and he turned to Remus. "Oh, shite, Remus, I'm sorry, we weren't going to tell you--"

"Sh, it's all right, Harry." Remus reached across the table and patted Harry's hand, wondering how to proceed. "So you do remember now?"

Harry nodded, still looking a little dazed. "Yes... I can't believe I could have forgotten. But it was the spell, of course. Sirius used Obliviate. He wasn't sure I'd be able to keep the secret, especially with Snape's Occlumency lessons."

Remus nodded. It was amazing what details the mind could create to make sense of the memories--and it was ironic, in this case, given that Snape had seen the fantasies anyway, and assumed them to be real.

"It's all right," he said again. "How do you feel?"

Harry's brow furrowed again. "I think I'm all right. I'm not sure."

"Nothing to worry about," Tonks put in. "You just need a little bit of sleep, is all." She got to her feet and stretched. "Now, I've got to finish the prep work for the rest of the incantation. Remus?" She nodded significantly towards the Floo, and Remus followed obediently.

"Stay with him, all right?" Tonks said in a low voice when they were out of earshot. "He's likely to be a bit... off for a while. He needs you to take care of him."

Remus smiled and kissed her forehead. "Thank you."

Returning to join Harry in the kitchen, Remus pulled out his own wand to clean up the mugs and tea pots. Harry watched in silence.

When Remus was done, Harry spoke. "You think something's going to go wrong with the spell, don't you?"

Remus sighed. "Let's go sit in the parlor." He led Harry through the house and settled him on the sofa before getting a fire lit.

"Well? What is it, Remus?" Harry asked after Remus had sat down on the opposite end of the sofa.

Now Remus wished for a cup of tea again to distract himself. He forced himself to meet Harry's gaze. "It's just that the spell might turn out to be more exacting than we think," he said. "Given this rather unusual requirement--participation from a former lover..."

"And you don't believe that I'm a former lover of Sirius'?"

"That's not it, Harry."

"You think I would make something like this up?" Harry's voice had started to rise. "Knowing how important it is, and what it might mean if I wasn't?"

"I believe you," Remus soothed, even though it was a lie.

Harry shook his head. "It doesn't matter if you do or not. I know the truth." He looked off into the distance. "I can still remember him telling me to wait until I was of age, but I wouldn't take no for an answer."

Remus' eyes fell to Harry's t-shirt, barely concealing a well-muscled torso and strong arms. "No," he said, "I can imagine Sirius found you hard to resist."

Harry smiled impishly at that. "I was a little sneaky with him. Pretended I didn't know what effect I was having... sneaking into his room in the middle of the night."

How much of that was real? Remus wasn't sure. But he could just imagine Sirius' exasperation... the frustration of twelve years in Azkaban... the temptation of a fit and very willing young man climbing into his bed. Remus was suddenly aware that the "young man" in question wasn't so young any more, and even more fit now that he was grown up. He looked away from Harry and cleared his throat.

"Sorry," Harry said softly. "I must be making you uncomfortable. I just don't want you to think badly of Sirius for giving in. It was entirely my fault."

"I don't think badly of him," Remus answered, keeping his eyes away from Harry's body. "It was a long time ago."

"Yes... a long time ago." Harry's voice had turned speculative. "I wonder if he'll still want me."

There was a problem Remus hadn't thought of. Considering that the incantation required the re-enactment of sex between Harry and Sirius' spirit, they were going to need Sirius' spirit to be just as willing as Harry was. He looked over at the young man in question, who was watching him.

"Well, he... he wanted you enough then, didn't he?"

Harry nodded, not taking his eyes off Remus.

"Then we'll just have to see how it goes."

"Mmm." Harry moved on the couch, easing closer to Remus. "Actually, I'm not even sure I'll remember what to do."

Remus blinked. If this had been anyone else besides Harry, he would have thought this was a come-on. "It's--it's like riding a broom. Once you learn, you never forget."

"Is that so?" Harry's hand slid across the cushions of the couch towards Remus' thigh, but he caught Harry's wrist before it could get there.

"Harry? Are you all right?"

Harry shifted even closer. "I'm fine," he said. "I just--I don't think I ever noticed before the way your eyes pick up the firelight."

If this was Tonks' version of "a bit off," Remus would have hated to see what she called "acting strangely." He wasn't sure if the Reconsciato spell had some kind of side effect that affected Harry's inhibitions, or if maybe the memory she planted had stirred up his libido somehow. But either way, Remus was rather surprised to find himself having to fend off the advances of an amorous young man.

An attractive amorous young man. It didn't help that Remus had, more often than he cared to admit, thought of Harry as he'd stroked himself to climax late at night. Remus reminded himself that Harry wasn't really responsible for his actions right now, not under the influence of a spell and the stress of needing to make the incantation work. He put a hand on Harry's shoulder to hold him off and was about to let him down gently when Harry turned and kissed his fingers.

"You know," the boy murmured while Remus' brain tried to function, "there hasn't been anyone else since Sirius."

"I..." Remus moved his hand to Harry's cheek and tilted his face up. He couldn't understand what was going through Harry's mind, but he suddenly recognized the potential problem in the situation. If Harry hadn't ever had sex, the incantation could fail. All it would take would be the unfamiliar sensation making Harry realize that he'd never slept with Sirius after all. Possibly Tonks' spell would allow Harry to somehow rationalize the situation, but Remus didn't know if they could risk it.

Harry was looking up at him with heavy-lidded eyes, and Remus felt a growing desire that was completely unrelated to incantations and memories and rituals at dawn. He was going to regret this--he already did--but there was no mistaking that Harry was willing, at least on the surface, and it would increase the chance of success in bringing Sirius back.

He brushed his thumb across Harry's lower lip. "No one else but Sirius, ever?"

"No one," Harry answered. He started to lean forward, lips slightly parted, but Remus stopped him. He couldn't forget that if the incantation worked, Sirius would be back tomorrow, and Harry could act on the feelings he'd always had for his godfather. Remus had to make sure Harry would be okay with this later--at least, as much as he could be under the circumstances.

"Are you sure about this, Harry? It will--" He had to stop, swallow, start over-- "It will be just for tonight."

Harry didn't answer except to lean forward and press his mouth against Remus'.

And that was enough. With a low growl, he took over the kiss, pressing Harry back into the couch. His free hand went to the hem of Harry's shirt and slid underneath, moving up across the hard planes of Harry's stomach and chest. When he pulled away to strip the boy's shirt off, Harry gasped for breath.

"Wait," he said, and Remus froze.

But Harry only set aside his glasses before lifting his t-shirt over his head, and Remus just had to reach out and touch that smooth, lightly tanned skin. He ran his fingertip over one dark nipple, teasing it, and Harry shuddered slightly and grabbed his wrist.

"More."

God. Remus was happy to oblige, rubbing his thumb across first one nipple then the other, watching the way Harry's eyes fluttered closed, the way his hips shifted. Remus captured Harry's lips with his again, and then he was pushing them both down, moving Harry until he was lying flat out on his back, with Remus on top of him. Harry's answering kisses were growing more fierce, and for a moment Remus thought he might be trying to push him away. He pulled back, only to have Harry grip the back of his neck and pull him back down for another heated kiss, Harry's hips thrusting gently against him. With a soft chuckle, Remus took hold of Harry's hand and pulled it off him.

"Just a minute," he murmured as he sat up. He let his gaze wander over the boy's face and body as he unbuttoned his own shirt, dropping it on the floor and then leaning over to set his wand on top of it. When he turned back to Harry, he was struck by the intensity of those green eyes on him, the underlying innocence--innocence that Remus was going to be taking away from him, even if Harry wasn't aware of it.

Harry shifted restlessly beneath him. "Remus," he urged, hands going to the waistband of Remus' trousers. How could a boy so inexperienced be so forward? And why with Remus, when he should by all accounts be pining for Sirius? Remus lowered his head to kiss Harry's neck, pressing their bodies together and trapping Harry's hands. It was difficult to think of anything besides the feeling of chest on chest, and Harry's erection against his stomach, but he knew he should be taking things slowly. But how slowly? Harry wasn't going to last forever, and there were so many possibilities. His kiss moved into a lick, at the hollow of Harry's throat, and then a nibble as he gently tugged at Harry's pajamas. Harry sucked in a breath and arched into his nibble, so Remus mouthed openly with teeth and tongue as he moved out of the way and took the pajamas all the way off. His hand came up to wrap around Harry's cock then, and he still felt he should go slowly but Harry was already thrusting into his hand, clutching at Remus' shoulders.

He was sorely tempted to keep on like that, kissing Harry's throat and chest while he stroked him to a climax, but he was aware that time was short and penetration was the part of the incantation that could be a problem. So, reluctantly, he pulled his hand away and sat back. Harry moved to undo Remus' trousers, but again Remus stopped him. "In a minute," he said, bringing their hands to his mouth.

"I want to touch you," Harry protested, and Remus' cock twitched in support of that idea. He hadn't expected such brazenness, and he found it alluring. But all he did was wet his fingertips and move downward on the couch.

"Remus?"

"Trust me." He bent one of Harry's knees, giving him better access, and started to rub gently across Harry's entrance while his other hand went back to that exquisite young cock. He had a better view of that, now. The sight of a drop of precome welling at the head was too much temptation to resist, so he swiped his tongue across it.

"Remus!" Harry's voice sounded genuinely distressed, and Remus looked up in alarm.

"What's the matter?"

Harry wriggled, forward and back against both of Remus' hands. "Too light," he breathed. "You're teasing."

So much for the slow and cautious approach. Remus took Harry completely into his mouth, pressing his slick finger in at the same time. There was a bit of resistance, but Harry seemed relaxed and even eager to take him in. Remus crooked the finger, rubbing further inside, and simultaneously slid his tongue along the underside of Harry's shaft.

Fingers tightened abruptly in Remus' hair, and he glanced up. Harry's head had dropped back onto the arm of the sofa, eyes shut. One of his hands was on Remus' head, but the other was moving across Harry's own chest, taking turns rubbing and pinching each nipple. At the sight Remus' hips tightened, pressing his own erection against the couch, and he brought a second slick finger to join the first. It was slower going in, but the look of pleasure on Harry's face left no doubt that he was enjoying this. He certainly wasn't acting like Remus would expect a virgin to act.

And in a few minutes, he wouldn't be a virgin at all. Remus shifted again, moving his fingers together and apart inside Harry's body, until they brushed against a hard nub and Harry nearly jumped out of his hands.

"Sorry--God, Remus, don't stop."

Remus had no intention of stopping, but he did pull away from Harry's cock so he could concentrate on what his fingers were doing. Harry seemed to like a firm touch, keeping direct pressure on his prostate. Remus could do that. He withdrew his fingers, kissing Harry's chest as he changed position on the sofa, quickly getting rid of his own trousers. He could feel the weight of Harry's gaze on him, and though Remus might be quiet, he was not a shy man. Harry's expression grew more heated as he looked and reached a hand towards Remus.

Well, maybe another minute's delay would be all right. Harry made an appreciative mmm when he closed his fingers around Remus' erection. Meanwhile Remus was trying to fumble for his wand, not trusting anything less than a lubrication spell for Harry's first time. Once that was done, he gave a few quick thrusts into Harry's hand, making the boy's eyes widen.

Remus took Harry's wrist, pinned it over his head, and then reached down with the other hand to position himself. The head of his cock rubbed against Harry's opening, and for a moment Remus hesitated. Maybe fingerplay would be enough; he might not need to take Harry's virginity too. His body protested at the thought, but he knew he could stop now, painful as it might be.

Beneath him Harry writhed. "Please," he panted. All thoughts of spells and rationalizations flew out of Remus' head. He pushed forward, breaching Harry's body little by little, keeping himself under control until Harry could get used to the feeling of being filled. His cock throbbed with the need to thrust, hard and fast, but he focused on Harry's face, the way he bit his lip and sighed and shifted.

"All right?" Remus asked after a minute, voice tight with strain.

Harry slid his hands out of Remus' grip, up along Remus' shoulders and laced them around his neck. "Yeah," he said with a hint of a smile. "It's just been a while, I think."

Remus dropped his head to kiss Harry's collarbone, then looked up again. "I'm going to move," he rasped. "Let me know if--if it hurts any more than it does right now."

"It doesn't hurt." Harry tilted his hips up, and Remus helped by sliding a hand under Harry's hip, urging his leg higher. He began to slide out and back in, keeping his thrusts shallow so he could control them better. Two more strokes and he found the spot that made Harry gasp, which would have been a gratifying response by itself, but then the boy pushed down against him, meeting him at each thrust as if desperate for more.

The sound of Remus' own ragged breathing filled his ears, and coupled with the rocking of the couch and the sight of Harry lost in sensation beneath him--it was going to be too much for him, and soon. He found Harry's cock with his free hand, stroking it in time with his own thrusts, and a moment later Harry was gripping his shoulder, eyes wide.

"Remus--I'm--"

"Yes," Remus whispered. "Let me see you."

Harry went still for an instant and then convulsed, his come spurting across Remus' fingers and spreading between their stomachs. The hot slick feeling and Harry's unbridled look pushed Remus over the edge. One more thrust and he was emptying himself inside Harry, shaking with the intensity of pleasure pumping through and out of him. His hand stilled on Harry's cock; he might have rolled off if there was room on the sofa, but he settled for putting his weight onto his elbow and looking down at Harry, trying to catch his breath.

"Brilliant," Harry murmured. Remus dropped his forehead against Harry's sweat-slick chest for a moment, overcome by some emotion he couldn't name.

By the time he pulled out of Harry and moved away, Harry's breathing had already begun to slow. Remus cleaned them both up and found a blanket for Harry, tucking it carefully around his body. "Yes, it was."

-:-

Tonks came back a short while before dawn, and Remus didn't think he'd ever been more relieved to see her. He'd been trying not to watch Harry sleep for close to an hour. The lack of sleep combined with guilt and doubt about his own motivations were starting to weigh on him, and at this point he thought the sooner they had Sirius back, the better.

Because then Harry would have the lover he really wanted.

He and Tonks took the supplies for the incantation to the conservatory at the rear of the house. The east windows would bring the first rays of sunlight directly into the ritual, and if it was a success, those rays would eventually illuminate a group of four where only three started. Together, they cleared the area and transfigured a low altar for Harry, as the apex of the triangle. Then Tonks began to trace circles and runes on the floor with a curved ivory wand, and Remus went to get Harry.

He found a terrycloth bathrobe in one of the bedrooms, and wrapped Harry up in that as he urged the boy to his feet. Neither spoke on the way to the conservatory. Remus thought it was just as well, since he had no idea how to put into words what he was feeling. He only knew that Harry was still carrying a torch for Sirius, and Sirius would return the interest, and Remus had no right at all to wish for things to be different.

Harry remained silent when Tonks greeted him. She gave Remus a worried look, but he nodded abruptly and waved her off. A glance at the slowly-brightening sky told them it was time to get started, so he guided Harry to the low settee and helped him with the bathrobe. Tonks looked away with a blush, but Remus felt they were probably beyond modesty at this point.

He and Tonks took up their stances on the other points of the triangle, and Tonks took her carved ivory wand in both hands.

"Ready?"

Remus and Harry both nodded, and Tonks began to chant. The incantation washed through Remus, tugging at his magic, and he concentrated on his memories of Sirius--charging into the Department of Mysteries with him, flying Buckbeak over the field behind the Burrow, embracing him at the Shrieking Shack after the many years of separation between the wars. And then, reaching farther back, from the time before Azkaban--hundreds of images, conversations, pranks, classes--until Remus gasped, and blinked, coming back to himself and looking around.

He blinked again. It hadn't been his imagination; there was a faint mist forming in the center of the triangle between them, growing more dense even as he watched. Remus turned to Tonks, who was still chanting, eyes shut, and then to Harry, who was lying naked thrown back against the settee. He was aroused, Remus noticed with a jolt, and he wondered what sort of images had been poured through his mind. More critically, would they be enough to make the spell work?

Harry began to move, shifting slightly on the settee, and Remus watched as the mist gathered over him, continuing to thicken. Tonks' voice rose in pitch, and the mist began to form itself into the shape of a person. A moment later, Remus thought he could recognize a ghostly Sirius Black. Not that he was familiar with what Sirius looked like from this angle, bare back and arse and thigh, wrapped up in a passionate embrace. He was also uncomfortably aware that the other person was Harry Potter--although that part shouldn't have mattered at all.

Abruptly, Tonks finished the spell just as the sun broke over the horizon. The ray of light coming in the window refracted off the insubstantial mist, and Remus was momentarily blinded. When he looked again, it was to see a full color Sirius, in the flesh, moving on top of Harry. There was no noise at all for a moment as Sirius stilled, then shuddered, then collapsed onto Harry, whose face was lit up with a huge grin.

"Harry..."

Remus would have recognized that voice anywhere, no matter how raspy or strained. He looked at Tonks.

"I can't believe it worked," she whispered, eyes wide.

Sirius lifted his head and turned to take the rest of them in. "Anyone care to let me know what the hell is going on?"

-:-

After the initial whooping, and grins and hugs and backslaps and tears, Tonks had kissed Sirius soundly and left for the Burrow. After all, Remus had told the Weasleys what they were going to try, and if she didn't head them off, they would descend upon Grimmauld Place like a tidal wave. And Sirius wasn't going to be up for company for a while--at least until he had breakfast.

So Remus cooked eggs and toast, and Harry summoned Sirius some clothes, poured him glass after glass of pumpkin juice, and generally made a fuss over him. He never went more than three feet away before coming back to touch Sirius, as if assuring himself that the man was real.

It wasn't until the second round of eggs, when Harry took Sirius' hand and pressed it to his lips, that Remus realized something was wrong. He'd thought the look on Sirius' face was his imagination--after all, shouldn't the man be happy at the attention Harry was paying him? But no, Remus saw now, he was clearly uncomfortable.

And then he remembered the spell Tonks had cast on Harry. How could he forget? Harry was remembering an entire past between him and Sirius, something that Sirius had no idea about. No wonder he was uncomfortable.

Remus had been debating leaving the two of them alone, but he had to explain about the spell. He joined the other two at the table and sighed, but Sirius spoke before he could say anything.

"There's something I have to tell you, before anything else happens."

Remus closed his mouth and looked at Harry, but the boy looked just as surprised as he felt. It wasn't like Sirius to sound so grave.

Sirius put down his fork, glanced once at Remus, and then turned his full attention to Harry. "I know you aren't going to remember this, but I placed a charm on you, that year that I was living here. It's time to remove it."

Remus blinked.

"Oh, no, I know all about it," Harry said.

"You--you do?"

"Yeah." Harry smiled. "It's no big deal. Remus took it off for me."

At that Sirius looked completely bewildered. "How did you know about it? And forgive me for saying so, but it doesn't seem to have been removed very well, Moony."

Remus shook his head, trying to make sense of the conversation. "I didn't remove anything. I don't think we're talking about the same thing. What spell are you talking about?"

"First tell me what spell _you're_ talking about."

Harry spoke up. "I don't mind telling him, Remus--I mean, about the spell." He blushed a little, making Remus' heart speed up, and turned to Sirius. "Remus and Tonks figured out that you had Obliviated me in fifth year, and we had to undo it for the spell to work."

Sirius' mouth opened and closed again before he spoke. "I... I see. How did you know?" Harry shrugged and looked at Remus.

"Process of elimination."

"I..." Sirius frowned. "That doesn't make any sense at all."

Remus sighed. "We needed to find someone you had sex with, for the spell, so I made a list of everyone you had any contact with that year, and..." He shrugged. It seemed so long ago.

Harry reached out to take Sirius' hand again, but Sirius stopped him, gently pushing his hands back to his own lap before looking back at Remus. "I fail to see how that led to you figuring out that I'd Obliviated Harry. Especially what I erased, specifically."

"Well, actually, I didn't think you had done anything that night. Harry said you turned him down, and that was the end of it."

Sirius nodded, looking thoughtful. "That is what he should have said, yes."

Harry broke in. "What are you talking about, Remus--you didn't think we had done anything? "

Remus cringed inwardly at what he was about to reveal to both his oldest friend and... whatever Harry was now. "I'm sorry, Harry. When I came to you, you told me that Sirius turned you down, and so Tonks put that memory in there to make sure the spell to bring back Sirius worked. The memory is a fake."

It was Harry's turn to look stunned.

Remus continued, "And now I find out that it was just a layer on top of Sirius' Obliviate. You were already his, all along, you just couldn't remember."

Harry's stunned expression didn't change. Sirius held up a hand.

"Wait--not _mine_ , Moony."

Remus frowned. "What do you mean?"

"You said--you said Harry was already mine."

For a minute Remus was at a loss. "Well, you did have sex with him and then erase his memory, so--"

"I did not!" Sirius's eyes widened, and Remus felt his own face reflecting the shock.

Harry looked back and forth between them. "Will someone please tell me what's going on?"

Remus found his voice. "I think Sirius knows something the rest of us don't." He waved a hand, inviting Sirius to explain.

Sirius took a deep breath. "Sit down, Harry." Gently he pushed Harry's hands, which had been touching him at every opportunity, back to his own lap. "Yes, I used a memory charm on Harry that night--but there was more to it than a simple Obliviate." They waited. Sirius met Remus' eyes. "I changed the love he already had for me--a godson's love, perfectly proper and appropriate--into a romantic love."

"You what?!" Remus exploded, half out of his chair. "How could you--"

"Because he asked me to." Sirius turned to Harry. "You came to me with a problem, and together we came up with a solution. I was going to remove the charm as soon as you were of age." He smiled ruefully. "I guess I didn't last long enough for that."

Remus was floundering. For a moment there he had almost thought Sirius--whom he'd trusted with his life and loved like a brother--had actually coerced Harry... but there was just too much information to process. He felt like he was still missing something.

"But..." Apparently Harry was also struggling to process everything. "I hear what you're saying, both of you, and I believe you, but the memory, the way I feel--it all seems so real."

Sirius nodded. "If Tonks added a fake memory of the act itself, on top of the desires I planted, it probably caused some unintended amplifications. It would be no wonder if you feel a bit off balance. You'll feel better after I remove all the modifications."

Remus was of the opinion they should do that right away, but it was probably best done privately, just the two of them. He cleared his throat.

"Wait," Harry said. "I have two questions before anyone casts any more mind-affecting spells. What was the problem I needed help with?"

Sirius was quiet for a minute. Remus spoke up in the silence. "Maybe I should wait outside. I'll just--"

"Hang on, Remus, I want you here for this," Harry said. Sirius shot the boy a look that Remus couldn't interpret, and then sighed.

"It was pretty late at night when you came into my room," he began. "You said you wanted to talk, and you asked when--how--did I know I liked boys better than girls. We talked for a while... then you told me there was someone in particular you were interested in. A man." Sirius stood up from the table and crossed the kitchen, bracing himself on the counter. "An older man, though. And you knew he wouldn't even consider you until you were of age, but it was killing you not to even be able to tell him how you felt."

Remus glanced at Harry, watching the way he watched Sirius.

"Who was it?" Harry asked.

Sirius turned around and leaned up against the worktop. "I think you'll remember as soon as I remove the charms. Then you can decide what to do from there."

"It's--it's not Snape, is it?" Harry looked ill.

"God, no!" Sirius exclaimed. "I wouldn't have--I mean, ugh, can you imagine?"

"Ew, no thanks." Harry was laughing with relief.

Remus felt the conversation had got off track. "So you transferred Harry's affections to you and changed his memories?"

Sirius nodded. "It was supposed to be just until he was of age. I knew I would be able to put him off, gently, and in the meantime Harry was, well, less miserable."

"Yeah, great plan," Harry snorted. "I was less miserable--until you died! I thought I'd lost the love of my life! I've been missing you for--" He stood up suddenly, turning away, and Remus exchanged a worried look with Sirius.

"I know," Sirius said quietly. "I'm sorry. I'm here now, thanks to all of you. We'll get you back to normal, I promise."

"Wait," Remus said, his mouth going dry. "Harry... you said you had two questions?"

Harry turned back then, not meeting Remus' eye. "Will I--will I forget the details of the time since Tonks' spell after you take the modifications away?"

He wanted to forget, Remus realized. He should have seen that coming--maybe then he wouldn't feel as if he'd been kicked in the stomach.

"I don't know," Sirius said. "It should have been pretty straightforward, but then Tonks changing things on top of changes..."

Remus could learn to live with it. He could. He would just have to be happy with that one night with Harry, a night that Harry wouldn't even remember very clearly; but it was best for all of them. Well, definitely best for Harry.

"Now," Sirius was saying as he guided Harry back to the table. "Are you ready?"

"I--" Harry bit his lip and glanced between Remus and Sirius. "You know what? No. I'm not ready. I'm sick of having my mind messed with, and frankly it's not very comforting that we don't know exactly what will happen--and there may be some stuff from more recently that I'd like to keep."

The room seemed to tilt for a moment, and Remus had to hold on tight to the arm of his chair.

"I've had changes in my head I don't even remember having done," Harry went on. "And now, you're telling me that with a wave of your wand, you're going to just 'fix it'? Well, what if I don't want to be fixed? What if I like the set of memories I'm currently carrying around?"

"Harry." Sirius sighed. "I can't return those feelings for you. What you remember between us wasn't real."

"Oh--" Harry frowned. "Well, actually, just knowing that it was false, and that you don't feel that way about me, it's kind of helping with that part already. And anyway I meant--the rest of it. I don't want you to 'fix' me and make me remember some stupid boyhood crush on--on Kingsley or Bill Weasley. I'm not the same person I used to be, Sirius."

Remus felt his chest constrict, but Sirius was shaking his head. "The charms were never intended to last as long as this, Harry. Eight years instead of eighteen months? Sooner or later they'll start to fray, and bits of the real underlying feelings will leak through."

"Is it--is it possible they already have?" Harry turned to Remus, suddenly, surprisingly. "Remus, last night, that wasn't part of any spell. No one planted that in my head. That desire was real, and I don't want to lose it."

Remus couldn't speak. He wasn't sure he could breathe.

Sirius spoke. "What desire? You don't mean you two...?"

"I was worried about the spell," Remus said quickly. "Harry needed to believe he'd been with you, that he wasn't a virgin, or the incantation might not have worked--"

He should have thought before he spoke, because the look on Harry's face just about killed him. "You mean you did that--all of that--just for the spell?"

"God, no. Harry--" How could he explain? "If I thought you would welcome my affection, I would--I can't--" He faltered.

"He would welcome it, Moony," Sirius said. "Don't you see? It was you all along." He turned to Harry, a small regretful smile on his lips. "In hindsight, maybe it wasn't such a good idea, masking your feelings with a spell only I knew about. I'm sorry. Will you let me take off the spells?"

Harry just nodded, looking dazed, and Sirius held out his hand. "Can I borrow your wand, Moony?"

Silently he passed it over. Sirius pointed it at Harry, drew a breath, and cast. A net of pale blue light coalesced in the air, closing around Harry's head. He gasped and slapped a hand to his forehead; Sirius wobbled and almost slipped off his chair. Remus crossed over to them in two quick steps.

"Are you all right?" He looked from Harry to Sirius. "Both of you?"

"I'm fine," Sirius muttered. "Just... exhausted. I'm going to go sleep for a week or so. Wake me up if Molly brings gingernut biscuits." And with that he headed upstairs.

Remus slipped into his chair and turned to Harry, who was still clutching his head. "Harry?"

"Nnngh." Slowly, Harry's hand moved down.

Remus searched his face, but he couldn't tell what the boy was thinking. "Are you all right?" he asked again, softly.

"I--I think so." Harry looked up at him. "This is--this is weird. And very embarrassing."

He was tempted to reach out and stroke Harry's cheek, but he held back. "Why embarrassing?"

Harry turned in his chair to look directly at him. "I was a little crazy about you, when I was younger. But... It's true what I said--I'm not the boy I used to be."

Remus nodded, feeling a block of ice settle in his stomach. He knew probably better than anyone except maybe Hermione how Harry had changed over the years. He wouldn't trade this Harry for anything.

"It's actually kind of strange," Harry mused. "When I first started coming to Quidditch matches with you--after you and Tonks split, I mean--I thought that maybe--you and I--but I never felt anything but friendship for you. Not until Tonks' spell knocked it all loose last night."

Hope flared again, and Remus wasn't sure how much more of this he could take. "I thought about it, too."

"You did?"

He nodded.

Harry smiled. "Good."

Their kiss was tender, almost shy, but Remus wouldn't have wanted any other Harry.

-:-


End file.
